Saturday, July 19, 2014

I am blessed

Thinking back the past 1 year+ 4 months of housemanship, it was surely a humbling journey. Today is my last day of orthopaedic. Bones and muscles and tendons and ligaments, maybe are just not my thing. Especially those wounds that you have to sit down and deslough and debride, and then the patient ended up getting an amputation. All those hard work, urgh.

And all these times, it wasn't easy to juggle a long distance relationship as well. But Austin made his way back from Australia to Singapore for good, then intermittent visits to Kuching. What do i have to complain about? After some time when i thought maybe that feeling of being in love and being loved would have faded a bit, it didn't, on the other hand it deepens. I am a lucky girl, I am sure. 




Saturday, March 29, 2014

Orthopaedic started

I started Orthopaedic posting with much reluctance. Bones are just not my thing to start with. Needed something to look forward to. Needed someone to come home to. Needed someone to inspire thoughts and dreams.

Thank God for Austin. 

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Lilies

This year during valentine's, i was on call in the hospital, seeing intubated patients, with their head smashed and brains leaking. Earlier that day in the morning, Austin called to wish me happy valentines. To be honest, that was enough for me.

3 days later, before the ward round started, my nurse came in calling CATHERINE LAW, with a bouquet of white lilies. They were beautiful, and I felt beautiful and proud holding them in my hands. I remembered walking the streets in Singapore and passing by the flowershop and simply mentioned to Austin that i love lilies. 

I love those lilies. I love how much heart he puts in. I love how he tackles distance with more sincerity. 
Happy belated valentines. :) I am still in love, and feeling loved.



Sunday, February 09, 2014

The farmers

Ecclesiastes 11

New Living Translation (NLT)

The Uncertainties of Life

11 Send your grain across the seas,
    and in time, profits will flow back to you.[a]
But divide your investments among many places,[b]
    for you do not know what risks might lie ahead.
When clouds are heavy, the rains come down.
    Whether a tree falls north or south, it stays where it falls.
Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant.
    If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[c] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.

Advice for Young and Old

Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.
When people live to be very old, let them rejoice in every day of life. But let them also remember there will be many dark days. Everything still to come is meaningless.
Young people,[d] it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. 10 So refuse to worry, and keep your body healthy. But remember that youth, with a whole life before you, is meaningless.

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Mid Life crisis

And so after several changes of the housemanship system in malaysia, I got an official day off to myself. I had breakfast to myself, bought books to fill my shelf and had time to write to myself.

I had gone through medical school and halfway into my housemanship, I found myself wandering at the thought of doing dentistry all over again. How much I want this? I have no idea. Since young I never wanted anything badly enough, other than that Mickey mouse watch I saw my friend wearing, later on resorted to stealing it back home. Her mom came to my HOUSE to retrieve it back, and I got beaten badly by my own mom.

I wanted to marry my last boyfriend that badly but we broke up. I wanted a job in australia so badly but i ended up working in Malaysia. I wanted not to get into a long distance relationship but i ended up with one again now. 

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

It's more than just a fruit.

And now that chinese new year is over and everything settles back to the routine of norm I am left to rethink and revise what i've been and am doing. I was lying there on the patient's treatment bed to get some power nap at the middle of the night, i can't see beyond even one week later. I've been searching the meaning of my job, and of course i would love to just see it as a job and come back home after a workday and continue on with life. But i can't help wanting to search for passion in what I did.

When I first got to know Austin, it interests me that he's a chef. He wasn't one to start with, but he later on found his way back to his passion at his 30's. The first time I met him after crossing our paths at a mutual friend's wedding, he cooked for me and my friends. It was real good. Given a kitchen, he made food that captured our hearts. Everytime he cooked, I couldn't help but wonder if I'll ever find passion like him, making life a bit better and meaningful.

I've heard too many times when i went back home, with uncles and aunties referring me as a doctor, and I never felt proud of it. With each time poking needles into my patients' hands and missed their veins, i caused more pain, and walking past the old demented uncle soaked in his own urine and pretended not to see, what have I done to relieve a bit of sadness in mankind?

Dear God, shine and light up a way.
Dear Austin, you are great.
Dear future Cath, you better be good and passionate at what you are doing.




Sunday, January 26, 2014

I'm 25

I'm almost there, a quarter of a century, and that is if I get to live till 100 year-old. Which means Austin will have to hang on until he's 110-year-old, because at this moment, i can't imagine not having him. They said these are the things you say when you're early and very in love, but really, how many times do you fall in love in one lifetime?

The past 24 years..I
1. Became a doctor, finally. It was very far and very different than I initially thought what life should be. Then again, I always wanted to become a dentist, so I couldn't compare what imagination and reality are. But at this rate of seeing 1000 different things in a day, in good or bad shapes, I guess I found what are the important things in life.

2. Delivered babies, made my first caesar incision. I reckoned I'll never be at peace with women. Whenever I deal with female patients, something happened. Or is it because women are of weaker species? They die easily, but they went through so much in life.

3. And from here on, its all about Austin. Because my brain is currently filled up and savouring his attention and affection towards me.
Dated a chef. Sour grapes say chefs don't cook at home. With my first hand experience, my chef boyfriend made my mornings wonderful with breakfasts. And since then, he hasn't stopped feeding me, from near or from far.

4. Went on good dates. I thought dating was not for me anymore as i aged, and i'll end up getting involved in an arranged marriage. Here comes a man who took me to see the world (Singing *Let me show you the world, shining shimmering splendid*) Alright, cut that useless disney song out, I enjoyed my dates.




He makes every date special. He makes me feel special. He makes us as a couple, special. :)


*dear readers, I'm in love. Forgive me sounding like a dumb blonde.